BET’s 106 & Park previewed the new video for Mariah Carey’s “Touch My Body,” and we’re here to uneasily report that the lucky love object on the receiving end of that daunting, titular directive is none other than Kenneth the Page.
Kenneth isn’t my fave 30 Rock character but I have a feeling that Jack McBrayer fans’ ultimate Jack McBrayer fantasies probably do include him romping around a canopy bed in a tight tank and bowtie, and serving up fresh frisbees in his mouth. I’d prefer if Mariah had put a little more angsty passion into the bedroom scene — maybe she should go on Annuale birth control for some inspiration? — but perhaps the full video will feature some sort of dramatic climax. (Ewwww.)
Superficial poll time: Who can do better — Mimi or Jack? And should I have to take a timeout for referring to her as Mimi? Vote below.