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TV's funniest quotes: Pick the week's best

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”Wait a minute…words in the prompter? Script on my desk? Vending machine upstairs out of Funyuns? The writers are back!”
JON STEWART, CELEBRATING THE WRITERS’ POST-STRIKE RETURN, ON THE DAILY SHOW

”Oh…awesome, the ship sent us another Sawyer.”
HURLEY (JORGE GARCIA), AFTER NEWBIE MILES (KEN LEUNG) CALLS HIM ”TUBBY,” ON LOST

”The Lipstick Jungle premiered this week. The Lipstick Jungle is not to be confused with the Cashmere Mafia?the High-Heeled Gulag or the Tampon Swamp.”
JOEL McHALE ON THE SOUP

”Hillary Clinton’s campaign is accusing Barack Obama of plagiarizing a speech by the governor of Massachusetts. They may have a point because Barack’s speech was entitled ‘I Love Chowdah.”’
CONAN O’BRIEN ON LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O’BRIEN

”Me and Bret have a mental, like, Superman-psychological connection.”
MEGAN, ON ROCK OF LOVE 2 WITH BRET MICHAELS

”I know you heard about this: the big tainted meat recall….143 million pounds of beef — I believe it’s the largest amount of tainted meat since Roger Clemens.”
DAVID LETTERMAN, ON THE LATE SHOW

Sound Bites Poll

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