Doesn’t everything just feel right with the world thismorning, all 15 of you who read my weekly L Word missives? Wasn’t it niceto see Bette and Tina jump into the sack after all this time? Putting aside thefact that they don’t really ever talk — no, they coo — their chemistry has neverdied, and we were all rooting for them to screw their way back into eachothers’ lives. Last night it happened, but only after an odd, painful scenethat I think was trying to equate cooking stir-fry with the slow build offoreplay but instead came off like soft-porn. What do you think is bound tohappen? Or more precisely: How long until Jodi (Marlee Matlin, pictured) finds out and proceeds to bloweveryone away with an Uzi?
Call me wildly presumptuous, but I’m having a hard time figuring out a scenarioby which Jodi sticks around if she knows about Bette and Tina’s romp. The showalready seems to be pruning away some of its secondary characters this season:Papi basically vanished into thin air, Helena’s been MIA for the past fewweeks, Tasha appears to have left the building(?!…!!… yes? what do we think?),and even Phyllis has been relegated to scarce, spectacularly messy scenes likethis week’s poolside striptease. I’m still trying to process half of what washappening there — have mercy, was that a conga line? The good news is that thisseason’s new arrivals are delicious enough to keep me intrigued. Dawn Bimbo andher loooovaaaahhh, Cindy seem to have been transplanted from The Bad Girls Club;as such, they’re wreaking wonderful havoc. I never thought I’d see the day whena territorial fight between two lesbian bars would thrill me, but there’ssomething so nasty and ridiculous about these two. Their in-your-face attemptto shut down Jenny’s movie shoot was hilarious/heinous. And silly Dawn Bimbowon my eternal, everlasting allegiance with this week’s putdown of The Planet,which she called a “wannabe Peach Pit of a s—hole.” Yes, Dawn Bimbo! Bringit!
You bring it too, Adele Channing! Show us just how much insanityyou’re made of! This week began Adele’s official transformation from uglyducking into Crazy Jenny — how about that haircut? — as well as the start of whatappears to be a full-on sabotage of her boss’s career. Look, Crazy Jenny has allof this coming to her, and I’m going to eat up every moment of Adele’s schemingand plotting. It’s bad enough that Jenny treats everybody around her like a wetdishrag, but it’s just preposterous that she’s directing a movie when she hasn’teven been on a film set before.
Of course, let’s step back for a moment andconsider that Jenny is not only being funded by the equally befuddling WilliamHalsey (love you, Wallace Shawn… but Victor Garber would have been even betterin this role) but managed by Tina, who’s too distracted by a) her desire forsome afternoon delight and b) that ginormous cell phone, which looks like itwas manufactured in 1991. Tina, you are a high-powered Hollywood executive! Getwith the program and expense an iPhone! And while you’re at it, change thatgodawful ring.