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What to watch if you're NOT watching the Super Bowl

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Superbowl_lI can understand why you’d want to skip Fox’s pre-game Super Bowl coverage, which begins at 2 p.m. ET Sunday and features Ryan Seacrest interviewing celebs as they arrive to watch whether Eli Manning chokes, the “world premiere performance” of Paula Abdul’s new single “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow” (sometime between 4 and 4:30 p.m., according to the latest press release), and a performance by Alicia Keys (sometime between 5 and 5:30 p.m.). But if you insist on skipping the game itself at 6 p.m. — Jordin Sparks sings the national anthem! Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers handle halftime! EW.com live-blogs the commercials! — here are some of your TV alternatives.

• TNT’s The Closer marathon (begins at noon ET): Now’s your chance to get hooked on Kyra Sedgwick (pictured)’s series, and to test your tolerance of accents.

Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl IV marathon (begins at 3 p.m. ET): This year, the canine showdown in Animal Planet Stadium was shot in HD. I’m just sayin’.

Bravo’s Law & Order: Criminal Intent marathon (begins at 6 p.m. ET): Interesting choice. I’d have expected Project Runway to be the counter-programming pick. But I guess Bravo doesn’t gender-stereotype like I just did?

• USA’s Law & Order: SVU marathon (begins at noon ET): Obviously. 

Discovery Channel’s MythBusters marathon (begins at 9 a.m. ET): This makes our own Annie Barrett very happy.

• ESPN 2’s World’s Strongest Man marathon (begins at 6 p.m. ET): This makes our own Dawnie Walton very happy.

DIY’s Bathroom Renovations marathon (begins at noon ET): For the record, I wanted to use a picture of a toilet for this blog post, in honor of DIY’s “Toilet Bowl” programming block, but my editor said no. [Editor’s note: Cute puppy pic or toilet pic? You decide.]

• Hallmark Channel’s Murder, She Wrote marathon (begins at 8 a.m. ET): That is a lot of murder, and a lot of Angela Lansbury.

MTV’s America’s Next Top Model marathon (begins at 8 a.m. ET): Again?

Spike TV’s bad, bad animal marathon (begins at 5 p.m. ET): In-between various installments of When Animals Attack and When Good Pets Go Bad, comes the Competitive Eating Halftime Special (8:30 p.m. ET).

• Style’s Clean House marathon (begins at noon ET): If Reno 911!‘s Niecy Nash wants to help me with my clutter problem, I’m okay with that.

• TLC’s Miss America Reality Check marathon (begins at 5 p.m. ET): Go behind the scenes of “the original competition series,” the Miss America pageant.

VH1’s Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew marathon (begins at 6:30 p.m. ET): I’ve managed to resist this show, which I consider a small triumph.

How about you, PopWatchers? What will you be watching this Sunday?

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