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TV's funniest quotes: Pick the week's best

TV’s funniest lines from January 1 to 7. Read the expanded online-only version of our favorite quips, then vote for the best quote

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”It looks like a coffee filter or a maxi pad.”
TIM GUNN, CRITICIZING DESIGNER SWEET P’S SKIRT, ON PROJECT RUNWAY

”He’s like a bitch for me. It’s perfect!”
DONALD, EXPRESSING HIS APPRECIATION TO HIS TEAMMATE AND GRANDSON, NICOLAS, FOR CARRYING HIS BACKPACK, ON THE AMAZING RACE

”Mmmm. That’s good water. [Pause] Killed some time!”
CONAN O’BRIEN, DOING HIS FIRST WRITERLESS SHOW, ON LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O’BRIEN

”These boots were made for streetwalking.”
STACY LONDON, CRITIQUING A PAIR OF LEOPARD-PRINT BOOTS FROM THE WARDROBE OF ONE OF THE MISS AMERICA CONTESTANTS, ON MISS AMERICA: REALITY CHECK

”He can build homes and decorate them. Sometimes God gives with both hands.”
LEE (KEVIN RAHM), DISCUSSING A GAY CONTRACTOR FRIEND, ON DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

”But it really is cold here in New York City today. It’s so cold that Roger Clemens tested positive for soup.”
DAVID LETTERMAN, ON THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN

”Omarosa’s a survivor, like a cock-a-roach. No matter what you do, you cannot kill her.”
GENE SIMMONS, ON THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE

”Where are high school kids supposed to go and do the things they can’t do at home if the park is closed?”
JOE (JAKE WEBER), DECRYING THE LOCAL PARK’S POLICY OF CLOSING AFTER SUNSET, ON MEDIUM

”I actually think the Gladiator show might do OK. Testosterone-fueled psychos beating each other up on TV. If it worked on The View, it’s gonna work here.”
CRAIG FERGUSON, ON THE LATE LATE SHOW

Sound Bites Poll