Scott Brown
November 23, 2007 AT 05:00 AM EST

1 Hayden Panettiere brags that she’s wanted by the Japanese police
But she can shave months off her sentence if she uses her powers to fight Mothra.

2 Before visiting her incarcerated husband, Amy Winehouse reportedly has her beehive searched
Found: one bear trap, one gallon of SunnyD, one unrewound VHS copy of Hoffa.

3 Five months after ”tart” slam, Katie Couric razzes Dan Rather in YouTube video
If revenge is a dish best served cold, then this is that forgotten, undefrostable box of Lean Cuisine left in the back of the freezer.

4 Jason Bateman tells reporter that Teen Wolf Too fans are potheads
I think habitual marijuana use is probably the least of the problems facing Teen Wolf Too fans.

5 Lindsay Lohan spends 84 minutes in jail
That’s 84 minutes of pure bliss for L.A. County drivers.

6 Wayne Newton cancels shows due to heart condition
”I’ve broken too many,” said the singer. ”I must show mercy.”

7 Late-night talk-show hosts may return, sans writers
Starting in December, ”Jaywalking” will pretty much just be Jay, walking.

8 Reportedly engaged, Katharine McPhee ”bubbling over with excitement,” says a source
Though the source admits that McPhee’s excitement ”was a little pitchy.”

9 ABC Daytime announces ”A-B-Celine Week” (as in Celine Dion)
Wow. I guess even the promo-copy writers are on strike.

10 Nick Lachey says 2007 was a ”rebuilding year”
But he hopes to come roaring back in ’08, with a deep bench of frosh paparazzi and a shot at a Bowl game versus archrival Valderrama.

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