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With cable access and infomercials, who needs writers anyway?

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Ginsu_l

Ginsu_lMy Nana’s favorite series has everything you could want from a television show: fascinating characters, riveting plots of revenge, tear-jerking speeches, and heartwarming reconciliations — all with limited commercial interruption. Despite its numerous attributes, though, I’d bet that very few people are familiar with my Nana’s must watch of the week. It’s called The Televised Town Meeting (live…from Sebastian, FL!).

Forget that cheerleader cutting off her toe and Dancing With the Stars’ results segments. You want a real nail-biter? In latest episode of TTTM, the annual three-day Sebastian Lagoon Clambake Festival was unceremoniously canceled — thanks to ”a group of citizens against everything,”quipped one council member — and things got so heated, an anti-clambake lobbyist was ejected (mid-argument) from the meeting! (No, I’m not making this up — click here for the lowdown.) Coming up on future episodes, anattorney has been hired to represent the Sebastian Clambake Foundation, and more fallout from the “clambake catastrophe” is expected. Set your DVRs!

Hearing about my Nana’s obsession with TTTM got me wondering: What are you watching these days that might not really considered a television show? Personally, I cannot get enough of infomercials for knives and blenders.

I love Ginsu knives and I love watching them cut through aluminmbeverage cans and automotive radiator hoses. I’ve never needed to chopup an aluminum beverage can and I’m not exactly sure what an automotiveradiator hose is, but I feel very satisfied knowing I could cut througheach, effortlessly. But wait, there’s more! I could take a hammer andbeat my Ginsu knife and it would still work perfectly. Again, why I’dbeat a knife with a hammer is inconsequential. I just like knowing thatmy knife would beat your hammer, and it would still be able to cutpaper-thin slices of a tomato. And as for those Magic Bulletblenders, don’t even get me started.

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