Entertainment Weekly


Stay Connected


Advertise With Us

Learn More

Skip to content


'Prison Break': Going nowhere slowly

Posted on


Break_lLast night’s two-hour PB “event” — or, as I like to call it, pair of back-to-back episodes —€” was chock-full of reveals.  So let’€™s begin at the end:

•  So Susan (aka Gretchen) is working with/for Whistler.  Now I want to know, as soon as possible, the exact nature of their relationship.  My best guess? They’ve collaborated before —€” were partners, even —€” in some covert military operation.  Now they’re both out for a buck.  Either that, or he’s the one who saved her when she was taken captive years before and now she’s gotta help him out (a debt of honor —€” oh, how old school).  One thing is for sure, though:  After Susan reminded Whistly that he’d wanted to be out of Sona in seven days, and he should be miffed about staying four more, he replied, “won’t be comfortable — if I’m out of here by then, I can still do it.”  What exactly, then, is it? And don’€™t tell me it has anything to do with water samples or geological tommyrot.

Susan is an ex-soldier. I got the point of the story she told L.J. about her experience as the bargaining chip in a hostage situation:  Don’t try to run, you whiny, useless moppet.  What I didn’t get is why she told it with no pants on.  Yes, she wanted L.J. to see the scars from the rape and torture she received from her own captors, but that could have been done in a pair of shorts.  The whole thing just felt forced and strange.

I might be wrong, but I suspect Whistler is former army as well.Fishermen aren’t the only ones who know how to tie knots (hello, BoyScouts). Say he did whack the Frenchie and frame Alex (come on, do wereally think Mahone would hide the murder weapon under his own bed?).Then, as Michael said, he must be a professional who knows how to killa man with one clean stab to the neck. And did you see the fightingmoves he whipped out on Michael? That swift throat check and some kindajumping head punch? Next up: He knows seven languages and Morse code.

•  Susan planned on moving a lot of corpses. Body bags. Bodybags. But let’s not jump to the conclusion that they were meant forMichael, Linc, and L.J. (though, in that case, I hope she rememberedone for Sucre, too). Who knows what double cross she has/had up hersleeve? At this point, I’d like to see Susan and Sofia snuff them all,collect some sort of bounty, and then go windsurfing together off theIvory Coast.

•  Sucre mans up fast. I’m not so positive thatsending a package of cash with his I.D. picture to Maricruz was a greatidea, but pulling his car out in front of Susan’s speeding van in orderto save L.J. was pretty darn brave.

•  Linc can make a dog’s breakfast out of the simplest task.Yeah, the guy is under a lot of stress. And he’s only been out in thefree world for what, maybe a month? So we can’t blame him for the twofailed rescue attempts. But did he really need to slip up and let Susanfigure out that the escape was taking place sooner than she thought? Heknows how she reacts to that sort of stuff.

•  Bellick has a heart.  He wants to play dice and he grieves, grieves, grieves for Sara.

•  Alex is up poop creek without a paddle. Unless you believeLang or the Wikipedia entry that says he’s going into rehab beforemeeting up with Mike in the Swiss Alps, saving Sofia, and dying like aman. I don’t.

•  Michael’s gotta get Lechero out, too. Why do thesethings always become a party? At least we know that Lechero (aka NormanSt. John) has been burned in the past, that he can plan (he got hisnickname by pretending to be a milkman in order to kill his mother’srapist) and that he believes in vengeance.

•  PB has gigantic plot holes. You can list those fromSeason 1 on the side of the Empire State Building, yet last night’swere too much for me. Not one of the other prisoners asked Mike andWhistly why they were knotting together a long rope. Macrame? I thinknot. And how did Hurtado not find it strange that Sofia asked him for aride to Sona after getting out of the driver’s seat of a car? Why didhe not notice that Linc — who said he was heading in the otherdirection —€” was then following them?

•  You can’t stage a prison break using sunlight and dog anesthesia. 

So what did you guys think of last night’s episode? According to thescenes-from-the next, Pad Man is returning, Mike’s tattoo is back inplay, and Whistler is gonna end up on the roof waving to a helicopter(shades of the Season 1 finale). How’s this plan gonna come together?Who has ideas about Prison Break: Cherry Hill, the proposedspin off starring upcoming new addition “Molly”? And how can the titlenot make you think of that old dirty joke, “I was on top of CherryHill?”