I hate to throw a punch at a small, independent movie that appears to be playing at a single, obscure theater in Manhattan, a film that hasn’t even scored an official review in EW yet. But last night, about 45 minutes into Klimt, a biopic of the Austrian artist starring John Malkovich (pictured), I became overwhelmed by the urge to flee the theater. Granted, the film is told as a deathbed dream of a talented, eccentric painter, but its disjointed collection of scenes and woozy imagery — look, there’s the frozen corpse of a dog! hey, that character’s lips are suddenly covered in glitter! — made me feel like I’d downed some bad sushi with a cough-syrup chaser. Nonetheless, since I was watching the film with some out-of-town friends who were planning on catching a Klimt exhibit the following afternoon, I stayed in my seat, and let my mind drift back to two separate memories.
The first time I walked out on a movie: That’d be a free screening of The Big Hit, a godawful 1998 action vehicle starring Mark Wahlberg and Lou Diamond Phillips. If memory serves, my friend Kristen and I attended mainly to for a chance to ogle Antonio Sabato Jr. on the big screen, which made his absence from the film after the first 20 minutes a most vexing development. A scene of Wahlberg and China Chow sensuously stuffing a kosher turkey, however, pushed us over the edge; we grabbed what was left of our popcorn and took back the night. Personal victory! Yay!
addCredit(“Klimt: Bernhard Berger”)
The last time I walked out of a movie: I probably should’veknown better, but it was a hot summer afternoon, I needed a cool,air-conditioned theater, and that remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacrewas the only thing available. I got my cue to hit the eject buttonabout 30 minutes into the ultra-gory film, when the killer pulled out achainsaw to go to work on a still-conscious guy hanging from ameat-hook. (Urp!) I wish I could’ve done something about the three orfour pre-teen kids who’d accompanied their parents to the theater thatday, but as is often the case with horror flicks, sometimes, you’vejust got to save yourself.
And on that note, I turn the discussion to you, PopWatchers. Whatwas the first movie you ever walked out on, and how about the last? Ormaybe you’re a real stickler for getting your money’s worth, and you’venever left a movie… ever! Either way, let’s hear all about it in thecomments section below.