Entertainment Weekly

Stay Connected

Subscribe

Advertise With Us

Learn More

Skip to content

Article

TV's funniest quotes: Pick the week's best

Posted on

”They say you should never mix business with pleasure. Really? Well, then explain to me how a putt-putt golf company operates.”
ANDY (ED HELMS) ON THE OFFICE

”Come on — let Momma score you some kick-ass chronic.”
STELLA (POLLY BERGEN), OFFERING TO BUY HER DAUGHTER LYNETTE (FELICITY HUFFMAN) SOME MARIJUANA, ON DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

”There’s a fine line between a felony and doing something really supercool.”
SOCK (TYLER LABINE) ON REAPER

”I’m just changing the lead to my bear story. The first I had was too soft, and then it was too hard, and now I think it’s just right.”
KELLY (PATRICIA HEATON), WRITING A BREAKING STORY ABOUT A BEAR ATTACK, ON BACK TO YOU

”A 3-year-old boy who was lost in the Amazon rain forest for 11 days has been found alive. Reportedly, the boy survived by hanging out in a nearby Starbucks.”
AMY POEHLER, ON ”WEEKEND UPDATE” ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

”It’s the Japanese-porn-star diet. I only eat paper, but I can eat all the paper I want.”
JENNA (JANE KRAKOWSKI), ON 30 ROCK

Comments