1 Bobby Brown denies reports that he had a heart attack
He prefers to think of it as ”myocardial prerogative.”
2 Criminal Minds honored with award for humane portrayal of interrogation
But the Geneva Conventions still prohibit Mandy Patinkin from warbling information out of suspected terrorists.
3 Bryan Adams’ Israeli-Palestinian peace concert canceled due to security concerns
Good. I’m tired of all this Canadian interference in world affairs.
4 Tobey Maguire’s baby’s first words: Da-da
Her next words were ”…the third movie sucked.”
5 Orlando Bloom in car accident
It opened small on the 405 and raised questions about whether Bloom can carry a wreck.
6 The Hills slammed for reportedly staging emotional airport reunion
That’s not fair. All of my emotional airport reunions have been staged.
7 Rosie Perez says she discovered Jennifer Lopez
She also claims to have discovered George Lopez, Shimon Peres, and Pez.
8 Slender, post-preggers Naomi Watts swears by ”solid undergarments”
”Underneath this formfitting Calvin Klein? Trust me, it’s 1867.”
9 Sharon Stone honors India’s ”Hugging Saint”
Expressing love in her own way, Stone squeezed the guru between her thighs.
10 Joe Pesci stars in legal-brothel movie
I haven’t been this aroused since Gone Fishin’!