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TV's funniest quotes: Pick the week's best

TV’s funniest lines from October 2 to 8. Read the expanded online-only version of our favorite quips, then vote for the best quote

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”I couldn’t sleep at all last night. Angie kept my Sharper Image white-noise/aromatherapy machine. She knows I can’t sleep without the sound of the ocean and the smell of bacon.”
TRACY (TRACY MORGAN) ON 30 ROCK

”Ryan wants everything in our company to be about e-mails and IMs. But I think he is forgetting about the original instant message: letters attached to baskets of food.”
MICHAEL (STEVE CARELL) ON THE OFFICE

”Like I’m gonna keep anyone warm. I weigh seven pounds. I can’t keep myself warm.”
COURTNEY, REBUFFING JEAN-ROBERT?S ATTEMPTS TO SNUGGLE FOR WARMTH, ON SURVIVOR: CHINA

”Great. Butchest moment of my life and it’s wasted on my sister.”
KEVIN (MATTHEW RHYS), WHO IS GAY, AFTER OPENING A STUCK WINDOW FOR SARAH (RACHEL GRIFFITHS), ON BROTHERS & SISTERS

”You’ve gotta give what’s-his-face credit.”
THE DEVIL (RAY WISE), LOOKING UP AT GOD DURING A BRILLIANT THUNDERSTORM, ON REAPER

”You can cut it out with the church bells. Who are you people praying to — Jesus of Noise-reth?”
SARAH SILVERMAN, TO A CHURCH FULL OF PEOPLE WHO WOKE HER UP WITH RINGING BELLS, ON THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM

”Come on, girl. I am black, you are Mexican, let?s not talk around it like a coupla dull white people.”
WILHELMINA SLATER (VANESSA WILLIAMS), TRYING TO CUT A DEAL WITH BETTY (AMERICA FERRERA), ON UGLY BETTY

”Barack Obama’s campaign announced Monday that they have raised more than $20 million in the last three months. Even more amazing, he did it all with a kissing booth.”
AMY POEHLER, ON ”WEEKEND UPDATE” ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

”O.J. Simpson is claiming that a Rolex watch he was ordered to turn over to authorities is a fake. However, O.J. did offer to search for the real Rolex.”
CONAN O’BRIEN, ON LATE NIGHT

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