Gretchen Hansen
October 10, 2007 AT 06:00 PM EDT

The other day, I found out a friend of mine was faking it. (No, not like that. Honestly, some people..)  I mean, she was masquerading as a Dancing With the Stars fan, pretendingto be captivated by the razzle-dazzle of forgettable B-list celebs waltzing andjiving and tango-ing and cha-cha-ing. I should mention that I find Dancing unwatchable.I’ve suffered through exactly two episodes, and I remain dumbfounded as to why more than 20 million people tune in each week. Tell me, who is Albert Reed and since when doesbeing an Abercrombie model make you a ”star”? I don’t want to boast,but once, when I was five, I modeled clothes from a popular boutique for awidely-attended Mother’s Day brunch. Luckily, the fame has not gone straight tomy uncoordinated limbs. (ABC, I’m anxiously awaiting a call.)

So why does my friend, who equally despises Dancing, spout nonsense like,”I found Wayne Newton’s moves last night particularly stiff. He reallyneeds to work on his technique if he serious about making it to the finalround.” Because she’s faking it to score points with her boss, who has fallen head-over-high- -heels in love with the competitive dance-off. She watches televisionfor conversation material, pen in hand, almost like its assigned homework. And, she says, her newly found pop-culture knowledge has paid off. ”I’m in theoffice inner-circle now,” she shrugs, averting her eyes, while doinga poor interpretation of the mambo in socks across her hardwood floor.

So, PopWatchers, it’s time to confess. What shows do you watch because they’retrendy; what movies do you gush about, but secretly hate? Why are you faking it?I’ll go first. I saw Titanic in theaters three times, and was moreinterested in my Sno-Caps candies than the deadly iceberg. I spent somewherearound $34.75 trying to prove I was cool. I pretended to cry when Jack slippedoff into the watery abyss, so no one would discover I was heartless (or realizeI had been sleeping for the past hour). So if I’m nottoe-tapping-salsa-skipping for joy over TV’s reality sensation, I’m sorry. ButI won’t fake it.

addCredit(“DWTS: Carol Kaelson”)

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