Scott Brown
October 05, 2007 AT 04:00 AM EDT

1 Francis Ford Coppola?s studio robbed
They say the Headless Horse always returns to claim what?s his.

2 Jorja Fox leaving CSI
She wants to spread her wings while she?s still young and jorjeous.

3 Ryan Adams has meltdown during concert
I tire of Ryan Adams? meltdowns.I?m ready for some BRYAN Adams meltdowns.

4 Dolly Parton won?t judge Idol
In Pigeon Forge?s strict theocracy, there are laws against idolatry.

5 Adam Sandler says if he were a gay man, he wouldn?t want him representing gay community
And what about straight guys? we didn?t get any choice in the matter?

6 Britney turns her camera on paparazzi
The ?upskirt? she snapped of shutterbug Frank ?Jumbo? DeBruni is expected to fetch $0.

7 Star named after William Shatner
Told of the news, Shatner vowed that someday, he?d travel into space, seek out that star, and have sex with it.

8 Forbes confirms: Oprah?s really freaking rich
In other news: There?s a chance subprime mortgages might not be the way to go.

9 Henry Winkler ?okay? with Milwaukee Fonz statue
He?s less okay with it being ?conceptual? and made of elephant dung.

10 The rumor isn?t true — Michael Jackson is not married to nanny
I mean, c?mon. That?d just be weird.

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