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''The Hills'': Speidi's ''special dinner''

Things get rocky at Heidi and Spencer’s ”special dinner”; plus Lauren and Brody actually look cute together, and Lo and Audrina share a drunken argument

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Jeff Lipsky

”The Hills”: Speidi’s ”special dinner”

Was it just me or was this episode of The Hills a little underwhelming? It felt like it was filled with a whole bunch of nothings interlaced between a whole bunch of nothings trying to be somethings. Case in point: the random makeouts (Lo and Frankie!) didn’t seem to go anywhere, the awkward tiff between the ladies in Vegas (two words: Justin Bobby) didn’t really get resolved, and the valuable lessons about corporate America (”It’s not business, it’s personal,” er, well, you know what I meant) didn’t really seem to fit in at all.

Okay, well, I take that last one back because venturing over to the Bolthouse offices meant getting some Elodie time in, and who isn’t loving her these days? ”Elodie is my hero!” a friend exclaimed in an e-mail I received right after the show, and I couldn’t agree more. Good for her for quitting a thankless job where MTV cameras are around all the time — and little blonde girls with little experience get promoted just because of said cameras! Although now that she quit, who’s going to put Heidi in her place when we need her to? And who’s going to be around to sneer and roll their eyes every time Miss Thang saunters in to work? Oh, Elodie, we’ll miss you.

Maybe something positive can come out of our hero’s exit. Perhaps Heidi will finally drop the super businesswoman act and go back to being the lazy beach girl we all know she really is. (You’d have to be living under a rock not to notice all of the bikini-clad pictures of Heidi that have been circling the Web ever since she unveiled her now-infamous implants. Apparently she thinks it’s her womanly duty to strike a Baywatch babe pose every time she’s near a body of water.) Besides, I’m still not convinced Heidi ever actually does any real work. Sure, boss man Brent stopped by to make sure they were all set for some sort of Emmy party, but what kind of boss waits till the day before a big event like that to get a status update? And shouldn’t Heidi have told him long before that that she planned on celebrating her anniversary the same night? And how is it that Heidi never caught wind of Elodie quitting in time to avoid any sort of PR disaster? I just don’t understand the lack of communication in that office! (I know, I know — it’s a reality show.)

During Speidi’s special dinner at ”their place,” Don Antonio’s, I thought Beavis/the Abominable Snowman/Someone Please Send Him A Razor was going to reach across the table and strangle Heidi when she told him she had to leave to go cover the aforementioned Emmy event. I sort of love that during his evil death stares she said to him defensively, ”You’re the one that wanted me to get this promotion, too.” But the icing on the anniversary cake was when she said, ”You know I love you,” and Spencer ever-so-bluntly retorted, ”No, you don’t.” And to think, after just one whole year together these two lovebirds believe that they’re soul mates. How adorable.

Speaking of adorable (or not), Justin Bobby’s back and more brooding than ever! He traveled to Vegas with Audrina, Lauren, Lo, and new friend Jill to celebrate Brody’s 24th birthday, yet I’m not sure I heard a peep out of him the entire time. Lauren thought he was being quiet because she and Lo were mean to him, but I still don’t think they were mean enough to warrant the silent treatment. (And do any of you honestly believe he’s mad because Lo calls him Justin Bobby? He’s the one that chooses to go by two names.) At least Lo tried to think of a way to make peace with the J Bob: ”Okay, first bet: the first person to make Justin Bobby smile wins. Okay? That’s the first bet of the weekend.”

NEXT PAGE: All the fun in ”Brody’s suite”

Unfortunately, the plan didn’t go over so well and all of the girls’ attempts to be nice to Audrina’s beau — by buying him shots? — were foiled. The Justin Bobby snub culminated in a drunken argument between Audrina and Lo while on a rotating bed in ”Brody’s suite” (as it was titled throughout the entire episode) at the Palms hotel. ”Justin haaatesss us,” Lo complained. ”We’re really trying to be really nice to him, but he still just won’t give us the time of day.” Audrina’s defense? ”He’s trying to like be nice to all of my girlfriends… he doesn’t need to open up to any one but me. It’s me and him. It’s none of anyone else’s business.” Then Lo said, ”He could at least respond when he say hi.” And Audrina, now in super-defensive mode, replied, ”I’ll, like, blow him off, I’ll never talk to him again just to make all of you guys happy. It’s fine.” Wow, way to, um, not grow a backbone there, Audrina. Lauren’s face, as usual, was priceless, and to avoid saying anything else to make the situation worse, she walked away.

I can’t decide whose side I’m on now. Lo had a very good point: Justin Bobby doesn’t need to be an open book to Audrina’s friends, but he certainly doesn’t need to be blatantly rude to them either. Then, when it comes to Audrina, I think about how I would feel if my friends were seemingly ganging up on me all the time about a guy I really cared about. Lo, and especially Lauren, are obviously looking out for their friend’s well being first and foremost, but like Audrina said, it really is none of anyone else’s business in the big scheme of things. Only this relationship (or whatever you want to call it) is taking place on national TV, so unfortunately, that will never be the case.

Another duo I’m on the fence about: Lauren and Brody. What was up with everyone (notably Frankie) trying to shove the idea of a relationship down their throats? Lauren pointed out that they tried being more than friends in the past and all they did was fight. However, according to matchmaker Frankie, that was only because Speidi was around to corrupt their chemistry (and lest we forget, Heidi was also behind last season’s Jen Bunney-Brody hookup). At the end of the episode, when Lauren and Brody were lying on that bed and/or couch thing in ”Brody’s suite” — and don’t you all throw rocks at me for saying this — I actually thought they were cute together. He was being really sweet and she seemed really happy. Of course, I’m sure whatever it was that was in her cup at the time helped move things along.

Okay, kids, it’s way past my bedtime now (and here I thought I wasn’t going to have much to say about this week’s episode!). Before I go, I wanted to say thanks to all of you who snooped around to try to find Speidi’s wedding registry last week. Unfortunately, as I suspected, the Tiffany’s one was fake. Much like most of their engagement so far, huh?

I’ll leave you with a few parting questions: What are your thoughts on Lauren and Brody’s flirtation? Are you on Team Audrina or Team Lo regarding Justin Bobby? Was Brody wearing a cast from his volleyball injury a few episodes ago? Or was it some sort of ode to Michael Jackson? Are you as shocked as I was to see Heidi and Lauren actually speaking to each other in the preview for the coming weeks? Finally, should we all stop using the term ”va-jay-jay” and replace it with ”Britney?”