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Scott Brown's Hit List

The 10 hottest topics for the week of October 5, 2007

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1 Crash won’t stop Clooney from riding his motorcycle
He’s just removing the mirrors, so they won’t distract him again.

2 Die Hard director sentenced to prison
”Stay with me,” the judge pitched. ”It’s Die Hard…in a prison! With the director of Die Hard!”

3 Six of the seven gay characters on network TV are on ABC
The seventh, Bashful, is thinking of becoming a cable news anchor.

4 Mariah Carey says her secret to looking good is ”bleak diets”
It’s all in Charles Dickens’ weight-loss classic, Bleak Diets.

5 Armani teaming with Samsung
Nearing fruition: Man’s great dream of pants that can store an entire season of Battlestar.

6 No lesbian affair with Jan in Marcia Brady tell-all
That sound you hear is thousands of fan-fiction writers cursing the rumor mill.

7 Phil Spector jury requests a VCR
Sorry, but C.H.U.D. just isn’t the same on DVD.

8 Scary Spice ”terrorizes” her family ”with kisses”
At some point, she’ll release a video claiming responsibility.

9 Actor playing ”Dancing Russian Soldier” spills Indy 4 plot
That’s what you get when you hire Blabby Baryshnikov.

10 VH1 introduces celebrity-rehab reality show
They’ll be rehabilitating former reality-show stars looking to reenter a camera-free life.