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TV's funniest quotes: Pick the week's best

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”I like you, Nancy Botwin. You’re an operator. Your résumé’s bull—-, of course, but the mind is there.”
SULLIVAN GROFF (MATTHEW MODINE), TO NANCY (MARY LOUISE PARKER) DURING A JOB INTERVIEW, ON WEEDS

”I’ve just seen the face of God!”
LOU (JOHN SCURTI), AFTER LATRINA (SHARON WILKINS) GIVES HIM A SLICE OF HER CHOCOLATE PIZZA, ON RESCUE ME

”My idea of getting lucky in the men’s room is when the motion sensor works on the faucet.”
DAVID LETTERMAN, ON THE LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN

”That was really well spoken. And well said!”
ERIC, DOING HIS BEST YOGI BERRA IMPRESSION, ON BIG BROTHER 8

”Summer flew by like Nicole Richie’s jail sentence this year.”
JIMMY KIMMEL, ON JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!

”But what about my dream of becoming a gorgeous but troubled intern in a hospital full of other gorgeous interns, discussing my love life while performing complex surgery and hating my mother?”
FRANNIE (TIFFANY DUPONT), REACTING TO NEWS THAT SHE WON’T BE ALLOWED TO GO PRE-MED, ON GREEK

”Earlier today, Sen. Fred Thompson, who of course was a former star of Law & Order, confirmed with his supporters that he is running for president. Then afterwards Thompson promised to solve the Iraq crisis by the end of the episode.”
CONAN O’BRIEN, ON LATE NIGHT

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