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Depressing Emmy rumors of the day

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Laurie_lNot that I really expected Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg to perform an unexpurgated version of their nominated song “D–k in a Box” on the Emmy telecast, but it’s kinda sad to learn that Fox reportedly asked them to sing a clean version. (To their credit, JT and Samberg have reportedly balked.) Nice irony: as E! Online gossip Marc Malkin points out, by the time the Emmys air on Sept. 16, the song may already be a trophy-winner, since the best song award will be handed out the week before at the Creative Arts Emmys (a.k.a. the Emmys in the lesser categories that they don’t have time to give out during the main show).

Sadder still is the report from awards guru Tom O’Neil claiming that Fox almost chose Hugh Laurie to host the Emmys. Now, Laurie fans know that the House star is eminently qualified as a comic — as anyone who’s seen his British TV shows with Stephen Fry (pictured at right, with Laurie) can attest — to emcee an awards broadcast. Even those who know him only as Dr. Crankypants know that he can be surprisingly funny amid the carnage on House (where he gets all the best lines) or have seen him deliver sparklingly witty awards acceptance speeches in recent years. Still, according to O’Neil, Fox decided that too few American viewers know of Laurie’s extensive comedy résumé from his roles back home in England, and rather than confuse us, they hired the decidedly not funny but comfortably familiar Ryan Seacrest instead. In other words, it’s as if Fox were telling us: “Hey, America, we get to host this party only once every four years, and we could have served you prime rib, and while everyone who’s tried it thinks prime rib is delicious, the unfamiliar dish might have perplexed you, so we’re going to serve you the same McDonald’s cheeseburger you can get every day…. Oh, by the way, be careful, ’cause we’re not sure what Justin and Andy packed in that Happy Meal box.”

addCredit(“Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry: Geoff Swaine/LFI”)