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I double-dog dare you to not click on this story!

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People_lJerry O’Connell pins his what to his what? What?

You know this People.com story is going to be a ridiculous waste of your time, fill you with a deep sense of shame, and kill more brain cells than an all-night margarita bender, and yet, you’re totally going to click here to read more, aren’t you?

All who succumbed to temptation say “aye!” Those who have a stronger constitution say, “nay!”