1 The Simple Life ends its run
At this point, they’d basically be shooting a minimum-security Oz.
2 Kelly Osbourne to play Chicago prison matron
Chicago: keeping low-wattage celebrities off the streets since 1996.
3 Hasselbeck likes ”soulful” Whoopi for The View
She continued, ”She’ll really balance out my soullessness.”
4 Faith Hill tells McGraw-groping fan it is ”very disrespectful” to go ”grabbing somebody’s husband’s balls”
On the other hand, it might’ve just been a lyric.
5 Eddie Murphy engaged — but not to Scary Spice
I’m already bored with this story. Can somebody please put on a fat suit?
6 Diddy seeks new assistant on YouTube
Diddy, buddy, that snowman is not going to make it to Brooklyn and back with your cheesecake.
7 Jessica Alba reportedly splits with boyfriend Cash Warren
It hit her: If you invert his name, he sounds like a car salesman from Wichita. Turnoff!
8 John Mayer says he’ll prank passed-out fans
You will stay awake during ”Neon (Acoustic)” — or wake up with ”Mayer Hater” Sharpie’d on your face.
9 Pop singer blames Lohan DUI arrest on L.A.’s lack of public transit
She’ll change her tune when Lindsay rolls over her foot with a 10-car subway train.
10 Spears-Federline divorce finalized
I’m sure we’ll never hear another word about it!