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Rosie can't spell "are," can write poems about Paula

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Rosie_l

Rosie_l‘Tis a time of pop-culture poetry in all the land! Last night, Stephen Colbert delivered a Petrarchan sonnet during his face time with Jon Stewart (“Damn you, I said Elizabethan!” he shouted angrily at his writing staff… or was it the other way around? Damn you, Tylenol P.M.!). And this morning, we were treated to another of Rosie O’Donnell’s beautiful poems — this time, about Paula Abdul. Rosie admits she sometimes sees herself in the way Paula brutally lashed out at her new decorator on Hey Paula last week. Only Rosie did it with a stoner-fabulous Jet Ski wrangler. It’s by far, my fave verse:

in key west i rented jet skis
we own jet skis in miami
i know jet skis
go away kid

It’s so cryptic. Like, I know she’s saying “I know all about Jet Skis,” now that I’ve done a close reading (or seven). But the first time, I totally thought she was, like, “I know, jet skis, who am I kidding with the jet skis? Stop making fun of me, kid!”

Which raises this important question… Jet Skis: Cool? Or lame?  An informal poll of 10 peeps around here produced these results:

Lame: 80 percent
Cool: 10 percent
“I don’t care for the sun. Or beaches”: 10 percent (Slezak = LAME; answer the  question!)

Also, who else should be writing poetry blogs? Come on, Stevie Nicks, I know you have a computer!

addCredit(“Rosie O’Donnell: Stephen Lovekin/WireImage.com; Nicolas Rius (on jet ski): CityFiles/WireImage.com”)