So this Orlando Sentinel story that Nicollette Sheridan is slated to make an “amazing” appearance on the season premiere of Desperate Housewives gave me an idea: Wouldn’t it be awesome if Edie — who appeared to take her own life in the third-season finale — returned as the show’s new narrator? You’ve got to admit, anything would be better than another 22 episodes of Brenda Strong’s sing-songy Mary Alice voice-overs, which are always my cue to tune out and begin a raging internal debate about whether or not I deserve a Sunday-night, post-dinner snack. “Sooo-san Myyyyy-er had a problem…” NO!
Seriously, though, imagine those narrations with a little sass, and an actual point of view. The fact that Edie has a prickly relationship with almost every resident of Wisteria Lane would allow her to go where Mary Alice dare not tread — poking fun at Susan’s romantic follies, Lynette’s heinous children, and Bree’s obsession with perfection. After all, nobody likes a holier-than-thou gossip. If you’re with me, then lobby for Edie as narrator in the comments section below. And if you’re not, then perhaps you could school me as to why I am wrong.