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'Age of Love': Fun times in the forest

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Jayanna_l

Jayanna_lYou know it’s going to be a good camping trip when everyonestarts drinking red wine before erecting the tents. Monday night’s booze-fueledthrowdown in the forest was like a National Geographic special, but with lessdroopy boobs. Needless to say, it was the best episode to date.

I’m not sure where exactly Mark and the girls set up camp,but I sensed a sort of Native American mysticism permeating the surroundings.The Poo’s wooded love fortress may have been a bit Peter Pan-meets-Boogie Nights,but the crumbling stone circle where he held court for eliminations was clearlya place of deep spiritual significance. No negative energy could enter the ancientenclosure — so Chief Serves and Volleys never summoned the manipulative Jayanna,who has suffered the greatest fall from grace since Sumthin’ soiled FlavorFlav’s carpet. She may have packed the toilet paper, but it was the Poo thatended up wiping her off the show, ifyou catch my drift.

Anyway, Jayanna’s treachery was not the only thing exposedon Monday’s vision quest. After the jump, a few other revelations …

addCredit(“Subject name: Age of Love: Trae Patton”)

“Truth is truth” Feminism is no longer just about burning bras and telling menthat they should be more helpful around the house. No, no, no! According toMaria, empowering women now involves signing up for a reality TV show in whichyou are referred to as a “cougar,” taking enormous shots in themorning, and playing a hybrid edition of Spin-the-Bottle/Truth-or-Dare in theforest. If you think it’s funny, she will make you cry: “Stop laughing atwomen. This isn’t a game. This is truth!” Did she mean truth as in Truth, or truth as in the opposite of”dare,” within the context of the game Truth or Dare, which by natureof including Truth is more than a game? I didn’t quite smell what Maria wascooking, but overall she appears highly circumspect and inarguably insane.

Amanda is an anthropomorphicGray Wolf Like Remus Lupin, I think Amanda may literally be able totransform into a wolf, which as any Wikipedia reader knows is the cougar’sfiercest competitor in nature. When she was looking for Mark and Jayanna, theproducers flashed a brief shot of a wolf lurking in brush. Then they cut backto Amanda. That was not trick photography, people. That was a sign! And the wayshe staked out the Poo’s tent was pure animal instinct. Of course, Mark didn’tseem to mind, though it’s unclear whether he was pitching his own tent withinthe tent. Sort of like a very rude Matryoshka doll

Getting blackout is not a good dating strategy Mark and Megan sitting in a tree, but sheis W-A-S-T-E-D. The youngster will be gone next week. Pop the champagne andpour the tequila shots!

So … truth or dare, PopWatchers! Did Jayanna deserve to be peacedout? Does Maria have a cunning game plan, or is she just a nutcase? Do you dareme to send in a question to Mark’s live blog?

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