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Spot Inspection: 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?'

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Smarter_l

Smarter_l

Last night I tuned in to Fox’s game show, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?, in an effort to be good at my job. Sometimes I feel I should be “aware” of what’s “popular.” This was difficult. I was filled with dread for hours and tried everything to avoid the show. I watched So You Think You Can Dance. Ate a stale donut. Charged through five reruns (30 Rock, Reno 911, Weeds, me eating a donut, Reno 911.) It was almost like an effort to ween me on to the drug. Feeling super, I pressed play. It couldn’t be that bad.

Absolutely incorrect. It was horrible! The contestant, Brian, a 36-year-old crab fisherman and stay-at-home son, thought he was Owen Wilson, which got old even before he completed his breezy jog onto the stage. His mom cheered heartily when he couldn’t name a major ocean — in fact, they panned to her many times, tearful and terribly proud of her idiot son who thinks he’s likable and can act…like Owen Wilson. The show’s only redeeming quality is how horrifically awkward things get when the contestant attempts to gauge how okay it would be if he hugged the kids (such as Kyle, pictured). Look at poor Bri. He’s like, “Jeff Foxworthy, is this cool? Am I allowed to mangle this wriggling mass of precocity and plaid? Oh please please please! Owen Wilson!”

Have you ever watched this show? Discussion questions if so:

1. How?

2. Why, exactly?

3. Are you younger than a 5th grader?

4. That’s the only way this would be okay.

I really think this might be the absolute worst thing I’ve seen…ever. And that’s a whole different post.