1 NBC to adapt telenovela Without Breasts There Is No Paradise
They don’t want the show; they want to make it their new motto.
2 Jennie Garth in talks to join Dancing With the Stars
She’ll be burned in a fire during the fox-trot, then battle cocaine addiction throughout the tango.
3 Paris Hilton moved again
At this point, it’s more of a ”jail crawl.”
4 Olsen twins turn 21
Combined, that’s one 42-year-old Olsen twin, ripe for a midlife crisis.
5 David Hasselhoff wins custody battle
”My first act as parent will be suspension of all video-camera privileges.”
6 Bravo to sell Top Chef-brand knives
The chances of your actually becoming a Top Chef with a knife you bought from Bravo? Excellent.
7 Dan Aykroyd’s new Canadian winery to feature Dan Aykroyd movie memorabilia
This ”winery” is sounding more and more like it might just be Dan Aykroyd’s house.
8 New book alleges JFK Jr. had flings with Madonna, other men
In the late ’80s, remember, this was pretty much a package deal.
9 Michael Moore health-care doc pirated on Web
Bet Michael Moore did it. Way to stick it to Michael Moore, Michael Moore!
10 Barbara Walters gets Hollywood Walk of Fame star between Ryan Seacrest and Destiny’s Child
Her star has already made the adjacent stars cry.