No, I will not get my mind out of the gutter — it was never there to begin with, PopWatchers. The above headline is a reference to the Colombian telenovela Sin tetas no hay paraiso (or, Without Breasts There Is No Paradise), the rights to which new NBC chief Ben Silverman purchased last week. (Way to put the ‘bra’ in ‘brash,’ dood!)
Anyhow, while the show’s plotline sounds like an exercise in deliciously trashy camp — an impoverished woman becomes a prostitute and gets involved with a narcotics dealer in her quest to save enough money for breast augmentation — should we really leave it to network brass (look, another ‘bra’ word!) to cast what could wind up being the next great serialized drama? Of course not! That’s why it’s up to all of us to start the brainstorming process. For the titular (sorry) heroine, how about Oscar-nominated Catalina Sandino Moreno (pictured), who hasn’t quite blown up in the wake of Maria Full of Grace like one might’ve expected? Or, if the producers don’t want such an obviously glamorous choice, maybe they could coerce Once and Again‘s fabulous Julia Whelan back to the small screen? As the villainous paramour, I’d like to see Emmy-nominated Steve Harris (The Practice), and, naturally, there’s got to be a role for the sadly underemployed Yasmine Bleeth, perhaps as an aging call girl who agrees to show our heroine the ropes. (Don’t act like you didn’t just get a little lightheaded with excitement.) Are you with me PopWatchers, or do you have a better group of actors to make Breasts stand out?