This season?s crazy TV awards
Best Imploding Show
You tried hard, Grey’s Anatomy, what with Gaygate, Paygate, and that Izzie/George love jones. You even went so far as to sever Kate Walsh like a starfish limb so another show can grow. But no series has a bigger death wish than The View. Rosie brought ratings, but her brawls with everyone (including two cohosts) made for such outrageous TV porn that they might as well rename the show Pay Per View.
Best Comeback for a Show That Oughta Be Ashamed of Having to Come Back at All
The Sopranos was off-key for seasons, and The Simpsons annoyed us like only family can. But the real comeback kids are the folks at Lost. With a — yes, we use this word a lot, but this time we really mean it — stunner of a season finale, the show’s creators proved they know exactly where they’re taking us. (And we’ll stop asking if we’re there yet.)
Best Finale for a Show We Pretend Not to Care About
Not since Alias dismantled SD-6 have we so fiercely wondered, What the heck do they do now? In the season capper, the crew disbanded under government orders, team leader Jonas (Dennis Haysbert) fled to Panama, and Boy Scout Bob (Scott Foley) took up with the feds. How they’ll get back to being the good guys, we have absolutely no idea.
Most Castaways Since Gilligan’s Island
Adios, series regulars! Close to Home and Jericho killed cast members, but both of those shows got whacked by CBS, so they don’t count. And Grey’s Anatomy is so crowded that they needed the layoffs. This year’s biggest casting-off prize goes to House, where the doc’s entire team — a full half of the characters on the show — either quit or caught a pink slip.