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Scott Brown's Hit List

The 10 hottest topics for the week of June 8

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1 Oprah’s dad meant to tell her he was writing a book about her
”I wanted it to be a surprise,” he stammered. ”Uh…surprise!”

2 Justin Timberlake reportedly in love with Jessica Biel
I remember the first time I was reportedly in love. Sadly, she never seemed to get my press releases.

3 Isaiah Washington anti-hate PSA airs
Its stirring message: ”Please stop hating me.”

4 Mary-Kate Olsen to portray evangelical on Weeds
If she gets tired from too much worship, Ashley steps in.

5 House‘s Hugh Laurie receives honor from Queen
”Screw it,” said the Queen. ”Take Helen Mirren’s gift bag, too.”

6 Donald Trump hates Rosie O’Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck alike
Is it just me, or is there an amazing Three’s Company: The New Class in this trio?

7 Franklin Mint releases Silver Surfer quarter
Maybe now I can get change for this stupid Ghost Rider silver dollar.

8 Keira Knightley to play Diana?
The pitch: ”If The Queen was The Fugitive, this could be your U.S. Marshals.”’

9 Osmonds reunite for 50th-anniversary special
They have about 60 minutes to feed, and then it’s back in the ground for another 17 years.

10 Miss USA slips, falls during pageant in Mexico
She too was startled by Paula Abdul’s Chihuahua, now more feared than el chupacabra among women in impractical shoes.