Michael Slezak
May 07, 2007 AT 08:02 PM EDT

Today is Traci Lords’ 38th birthday, and the occasion reminded me of my experience with one of her more notorious projects. (Um, no, I’m not talking about that brand of notorious… please!) Rather, I refer to her 1995 dance-pop CD, 1000 Fires, and its awful-awesome lead single, “Control.” Oh the gleeful, howling mockery I endured from my friends when they discovered 1000 Fires in my CD collection back in the day. And the gleeful, howling mockery I will momentarily receive from my coworkers for admitting I still listen* to “Control” to this very day. Check out the James Bond-inspired clip below and tell me what my shame level should be for indulging in this guiltiest of pleasures.

(*Treadmill only.)

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