The 29th floor water cooler stopped working today. Deprived of nourishment, I started yelping and wriggling around in my chair, so naturally thought of the Sesame Street short film about the baby who desperately needs milk and the man who drives a big rig cross-rural county to make! it! happen!
For a while, I didn’t remember why whenever I poured milk into a bowl (no, I don’t have cats; I have Oreos), I’d hear “Milk. Mee-ilk! Milk” in my head. THIS WAS WHY. I love everything about this video. The way the producers try to brainwash you into liking milk (“So good, so warm and white / Makes everything all right”). The truck driver’s grin as he jogs into the dairy, definitely in on the joke that he’s there for the express purpose of feeding the random baby. The crayon factory-esque footage of milk spewing into bottles (bottles!). Gratuitous shots of the cows munching on grass, so we can better understand the circle of life. The owl (knapsack?) perched next to where they’re pouring the milk at the end. I defy you to find something wrong with what today’s blog editor Dawnie Walton just called “the most bizarre thing in the history of ever.” And don’t tell me you used to cry when the baby was in distress. We all knew she’d be getting her frickin’ ba-ba.
Speaking of whom, I wonder where that baby is today and whether she still loves milk. LET’S FIND HER. Baby, are you out there? Please call me for a very important interview!