Green Is Good
KEVIN DILLON, 41: We’ve always hung out, but now that you’re playing golf, we hang more. And our girls like to hang out together.
JERRY FERRARA, 27 Unfortunately, I’m not in a place where I can harass you [about golf].
KD I’m just so pumped up that you’re fired up about the game, I don’t want to say anything negative.
JF I picked it up from that golf machine [in the April 8 episode].
JF and KD Full Swing Golf!
KD I’m putting one in my garage. You’re going to be over the house every day.
JF I’m telling you, Saturdays and Sundays, I’ll rent your guesthouse from you, and I will play that machine all day.
KD I’m not even going to charge you that much.
JF I’ll pay the electric bill.
KD You’ve got to cover the electric bill for my saltwater reef tank, too, which is in the guesthouse. And that thing sucks up some juice, lemme tell you.
Up in Smoke
JF Everyone automatically thinks we travel in packs, like with an entourage.
KD Once in a while, they’ll see the four of us walk into a pub together and they’ll do this big double take, like ”Holy s—, where’s the cameras?”
JF I guess that means we’re doing a good job.
KD Guys want to party with Drama and Turtle and Vince and E. That’s definitely flattering. They love to slap your back as hard as possible and force you to do as many shots as you can. You gotta say, ”Sorry, I’m going to go home now.”
JF I think people get disappointed when they meet me, because everyone offers me a shot and I don’t really drink, so I’m like, ”I can’t do it.” And they’re like, ”You wanna smoke a joint?” And I don’t smoke, so I’m like, ”I can’t do it.” They’re like, ”This ain’t Turtle!”
KD I’ve had people ask, ”Is Jerry really a big partyer? Does he smoke a lot of weed? He looks like such a stoner.”
JF I know how to play that very well, and I do draw upon past experiences. But that’s behind me now.
All Bets Are On
KD We are pretty successful as an entourage with our gambling.
JF We ran the table on the ’05 playoffs and Super Bowl.
KD We did pretty good with the boxing, too. That’s one real upside to doing this HBO thing.
JF We get these fight tickets.
KD And they’re nice seats.
JF It does make it a little more interesting to throw a couple dollars on the fight. Won money sometimes can be better than earned money —
KD — which is almost as good as stolen money. I’m kidding. I don’t know why I said that. We’ve been making some money in Vegas…. I think the tax man is going to come after us.
JF By the way, this is all a joke. It was, like, Monopoly money.
NEXT PAGE: Secret dance moves, the shame of having to ”rock a Mets hat,” waiting for free golf clubs, dodging spit, and more