Scott Brown’s Hit List
1 Eddie Griffin says Ferrari crash was not a hoax This reminds me of the time I never had a Ferrari, which is now.
2 David Beckham denies being on ”daughter diet” to help conceive girl As we know, no one can gender-bend it like Beckham.
3 Hilary Swank escapes speeding ticket thanks to good deed The deed: not making ‘The Reaping 2: More Locusts!’
4 More Pirates movies may come, if Johnny Depp’s aboard Vowed the studio, ”We will not stop until pirate movies suck again.”
5 Chocolate Jesus art show canceled ”Oh, come on!” said the mocha Lamb of God. ”Even Madonna got to finish her tour.”
6 ”Andy” from Family Ties arrested on suspicion of domestic violence Anything else from my childhood you’d like to ruin, world? Have Optimus Prime get caught picking up a tranny hooker, maybe?
7 Timbaland’s rep won’t confirm he called Scott Storch ”a bitch” She will deny he said, ”A Storch is a Storch, of corch, of corch!”
8 Hilary Duff felt pressure to be thin It’s market pressure: If she can just get listed as a carry-on, she’ll save thousands in airfare.
9 Book suggests Steve McQueen was bisexual The smoking gun: The original title of ‘Nevada Smith’ was ‘Bisexual Smith.’
10 Bill O’Reilly slams Rosie O’Donnell Proclaimed the pundit: ”There can be only one O’Loudmouth.”