Whitney Pastorek and Tim Stack
April 06, 2007 AT 12:00 PM EDT

”Dancing With the Stars”

Tim Stack is bewitched by the shiny sequins and acrobatic villains, while Whitney Pastorek hacks away at the hopefuls



Dancing With the Stars not only provides painless entertainment but actually makes you nostalgic for the glory days of 1970s sequin-loving variety shows, like The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour. The entire production, including the celebrity audience members (is that Chuck Woolery cheering on Shandi Finnessey?), is primed for maximum cheesy enjoyment. Even more impressive is how Stars‘ producers seem to realize that in order to keep us coming back each week, viewers need the lure of either a villain or a big, hot mess. This season, we have both rolled into one with Heather Mills, Paul McCartney’s much-maligned soon-to-be-ex-wife and a one-legged dancing wonder who performed a backward walkover on the March 26 episode. What kind of reality-show Grinch doesn’t enjoy this gloriously kitschy ode to dance and fallen careers? — Whitney Pastorek


Instead of ranting about how the tabloid culture that fuels Dancing With the Stars is on track to bring about the end-times, I’ll just address the way this is actually a very poorly executed TV show. Even if you can get past the absurdly solemn scoring system, the insipid post-performance interviews, the barely masked self-loathing of cohost Tom Bergeron, and the faux-affirmational implication that these ”stars” are undergoing a life-changing experience while vamping for our approval, the producers have also packed in enough commercials to generate the gross national product of Sweden. And they feel the need to continuously remind us who’s up next in case our tiny little squirrel brains forgot. Honestly, I can’t believe people look forward to having their intelligence so insulted every week. — Whitney Pastorek

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