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Professor Kal Penn of U. Penn

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Kal_lOkay, my constant yearning to return to college got even yearnier today when I read the news that Kal Penn will be a visiting instructor at the University of Pennsylvania next year. Dude! Yep, our very own one-time stoner Kumar, who headed out to White Castle one day and returned one of the hottest young actors around (he’s currently appearing in the art house hit The Namesake), is tentatively set to teach two courses in the spring of 2008. One will be on Asian Americans in the media and the other will focus on teen movies.

Now, I mean, this really is the coolest thing ever — this news deserves an A+! Man, what lucky kids next year’s Quakers will be. They’ll get to do whatever it is that kids in college in Philadelphia do — you know, imbibe certain chemicals, gaze passively at Adult Swim, hit the town for some cheesesteaks and wudder ice — and then go to a class… taught by frickin’ Kumar! Gotta love it. No child left behind, PopWatchers!

Still, I do wonder what other thespians would make most excellent profs. Snoop Dogg? Sean Penn (back in those slap-happy Spicoli days — maybe he’d bring pizza for everyone)? My man Tom Arnold? And then you’ve got to consider why Penn (the university) is having Penn (the erstwhile screen pothead) stop by. Did they invite him because they’re his, er, namesake? Do you think the Ivy League school will see a bump in its application rates? Does it really need the attention? Didn’t his apparently casual attitude toward higher education in the Van Wilder movies give the Penn administrators any cause for concern? Did they even see The Rise of Taj? (Did anyone?) And will Berkeley alum John Cho (a.k.a. Harold) be next? Please answer in the form of an essay.

addCredit(“Kal Penn: Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage.com”)