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Scott Brown's Hit List

The 10 hottest topics for the week of March 30, 2007

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1 Sam Waterston lends voice to bipartisan group Apparently, the voice of bipartisanship is really raspy.

2 Celebs could have picked up hepatitis at Music and Lyrics premiere party Worst gift bag…ever.

3 New Mexico town proud to be setting for Wild Hogs Before this, the town was known for its low self-esteem.

4 Naomi Campbell shows up for community service in stilettos She’ll spear trash with her heels. The trash will be removed by a maid. She will assault the maid, and the cycle will begin anew.

5 Larry King has surgery for clogged neck artery Bill O’Reilly was quick to declare his own neck a ”no-clog zone.”

6 Angelina Jolie names her new son Pax Thien The next child will just be called Whole Mess O’Consonants.

7 Nicole Richie to be ”weight-loss” counselor on The Simple Life 5 It’s working! I just threw up!

8 Alex Trebek surprised by Jeopardy! three-way tie It’s the craziest thing to happen on ‘Jeopardy!’ since I changed the channel in 1997.

9 America celebrates 40 years of the Ding Dong Hey, that’s no way to talk about Vin Diesel!

10 Cincinnati orchestra nixes Dukes of Hazzard-themed concert ”Looks like the Cincinnati Pops got the boys on the run,” Waylon Jennings narrated from heaven. ”But it ain’t over till the Wopat sings.”