Oh, PopWatchers! Don’t H to the A to the T to the E to the ME for my love and devotion to Fergie. I’ve tried everything imaginable to shake my case of Fergitis Majoris — tonics, patches, meditation, even a weekend of reparative therapy at a scary ex-Fergie camp — but it appears that I was simply born to L-O-V-E the Black Eyed Peas’ ubiquitous singer. And now, comes the fourth single off her solo CD The Dutchess, “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” and (gulp) wouldn’t you know, I’m bada-da-da-da… lovin’ it! — more than a McGriddle, even. And without the unfortunate gastric events! (It’s streaming at AOL Music, or you can hear it here, after the jump; just click below.)
Seriously, though, not only does “Big Girls Don’t Cry” have that sort of industrial-fixative melody that you’d expect from a Fergie single (the syrup-infused griddle-cake, if you will), but it also proves (unlike, say, “London Bridge”) that the former Wild Orchid member can really sing (that would be the sausage ‘n’ egg). The lyrics (“I’m gonna miss you/ Like a child misses their blanket”) are sure ’nuff processed cheesy, but I defy you to tell me the whole darn thing isn’t T to the A to the S-T-E-Y. (Her spelling, not mine.) Yes, PopWatchers, I said defy. And if those aren’t fightin’ words, then maybe you need to head to AOL Music’s “The DL” and check out my “30 Seconds to Blog” rant in defense of Fergie-Ferg. Tell me I’m not alone on this one!
addCredit(“Fergie: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images”)