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Things That Make Me Die Inside (Vol. 17)

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So get this: As NBC mulls the fate of quality series like 30 Rock and Medium, it’s also greenlit Baby Borrowers, a new version of a British reality series built around the idea of folks lending out their infant children to teenage couples — all in the name of comedy (with a message), the show’s producer tells Variety. And what exactly is that message? Don’t drop little Tiffany — her skull isn’t fully formed? It’s not easy supporting a newborn’s neck? Or maybe that parents have a price when it comes to lending out their wee ones in the name of light entertainment? Or that a higher power is overdue to smite The Peacock?

Okay, so I’m being a little hysterical here. Apparently, Baby Borrowers will follow teenage couples as they’re put in charge of caring for an infant for several days, before graduating to a toddler, a pre-teen, a young teenager and even a senior citizen. (The series is an equal opportunity exploiter, so be gentle when you clean and re-bandage Great Aunt Myrna’s bed sores! On second thought, whatever, she’s just happy we let her out of the home!) Yeah, the show’s executive producer claims that when the series aired in England, “there was initial consternation from some organizations about the notion of ‘lending babies to teenagers for a reality show’… without asking us about the extensive and impeccable health and safety measures put in place,” but somehow, that doesn’t make the whole concept more palatable to me. I mean, would you want the health and well being of your own baby, or your great-grandfather, placed in the hands of, say, the gals of My Super Sweet Sixteen? And what will make the teenagers at the heart of Baby Borrowers any less fame-hungry and monstrous?

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