When I read about Coldplay’s plan to release The Singles 1999-2006—on 7-inch vinyl, no less—I thought, Ugh. Lame. A greatest hits set already? You’ve made only three albums. You’re not U2. Booooo.
What’s up with that? Not the new release—they did have a few EPs out before Parachutes, and at least the compilation won’t include the words “Greatest” or “Hits,”—but my reaction. I am a former Coldplay obsessive who now goes around calling them lame. I am lame. Right this second, with “Amsterdam” beaming directly into my ears and me loving it just as much as I used to, I feel like a traitor. But I know I’m not alone. So what happened? Ooh, multiple choice.
When did it become uncool to like Coldplay?
A. When we realized most of the songs on X&Y sounded the same and not so great
B. As soon as promos from The 40-Year-Old Virgin came out (“You know how I know you’re gay? You like Coldplay.”)
Yoko’s Gwyneth’s fault
D. Bands that care too much about human suffering on a global scale are annoying
E. Never, fool!
(See Annie’s answer after the jump.)
Hmmm. D. is somewhat viable. B. is automatically disqualifiedbecause being gay is cool. And I kind of want to get into howsemi-fascinatingly f—ed up I find Gwyneth. I guess it’s A.: the”nothing new to see here” syndrome, combined with the depressingawareness that liking a certain great band no longer makes youdistinctive. In late 2000, I remember having mandatory, nightlychill-out sessions set to an illegal download of Parachuteswith my college roommate, “Heffa” (I was “Lump”). We felt so cool…until we saw the album plastered all over Best Buy a few weeks laterand realized we were no longer special. We were special in other ways,I’m sure. For instance, we had made ourselves partially deaf, and weheld the title of Most Obnoxious Twosome by our irritated suitemateswho were not yet smitten by Chris Martin, black-only cargowear, andwhat it meant to be allllll yellowww.
Enough with the nostalgia. Coldplay in 2007: Cool or no cool?