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You Suck

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Christopher Moore, You Suck

Picking up where he left off in 1995’s Bloodsucking Fiends, Christopher Moore returns with You Suck and his now-trademark genre fiction, a style we’ll call Supernatural San Francisco Pop. Jody is a 26-year-old vampire who’s recently ”sired” her boyfriend, Tommy, so they can be together forever…but the unfortunate practicalities of vamp life are tougher than they seem. Thus the couple buy alarm watches to remind them about daylight, and wind up keeping a drunk homeless dude (and his giant shaved cat) as a sort of pet/snack, since hunting weirds them out. It also doesn’t help that Tommy pissed off an ancient übervamp by having him bronzed. (As with many of Moore’s books, it’s better not to ask too many questions.) At least they’ve got one thing going for them: Abby Normal, a Goth teenager who signs up to be their minion and whose diary entries find the eerie intersection of Brontë, Buffy, and MySpace.

Moore nestles comfortably into his patented formula: imperfect-but-lovable protagonist; evil-but-hubristic antagonist; snappy, self-referential dialogue; blockbuster action sequence; fin. This time, he lets the insouciant Abby handle a lot of the narration, a device that’s fun for a while but is, OMG, like, way exhausting toward the end. No matter how kicky the writing, there’s only so much one can take of a character who’s so awfully pleased with herself. Moore might want to bear in mind that the same can go for clever authors.