Scott Brown’s Hit List
1 Ringo Starr’s childhood home may be spared Despite the fact that it’s considered to be the least-talented childhood home.
2 Paula Abdul reps blame technical difficulties for her bizarre on-air behavior I buy it. I once went on a three-day technical difficulty that ended in cancellation.
3 Heather Locklear says she still likes rock stars And I still like Steak-umms. No lesson here: Just greasy goodness.
4 Britney Spears dates K-Fed look-alike A wise man once said, ”Don’t change horses in mid-skeev.” That wise man was Loni Anderson.
5 ”Commandos” panty-free crotch patch launched on tide of celeb ”upskirts” Two, please. For my eyes.
6 Kanye West gets unscripted TV show It’s Kanye going about his daily routine, as Mike Myers stands awkwardly beside him.
7 Zach Braff doesn’t ”play the game” and is ”in sweat pants every day” It’s like he found my letters and read each one out loud.
8 Penélope Cruz laughs off Salma Hayek gay rumors I’m laughing too! But on a serious note: Please let it be true.
9 David Beckham moves to L.A. He and Posh were drawn by the good schools, picturesque nannies, and natural collagen springs.
10 Richard Gere chants ”No condom, no sex” with Mumbai prostitutes Roger Ebert called the sex ed. event ”’Pretty Woman’ with a hint of curry!” and ”Creepy!”