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Time to remember... 'Gymkata'

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Gymkata_lThere are horrible things going on in the world. The fact that most of the people I corner in the elevator and expect to share my excitement that 1985’s Gymkata will finally hit DVD on Jan. 30 just stare at me blankly is… technically, not one of them. Still, how could you not remember this movie, especially after I quote the trailer verbatim:

“His name: Kurt Thomas. His title: Three-time world gymnastics champion. His assignment: A secret mission for the United States government. His only weapon: Himself. And that’s all he needs. Combine the discipline, the timing, and the power of gymnatics with the explosive force of karate and a new all powerful martial art is born: Gymkata. Kurt Thomas becomes Jonathan Cabot. He must penetrate a mountain fortress to compete in an ancient savage ritual. They call it: The game. But nobody wins. And nobody lives. Until now. When gymnastics and karate are fused, the combustion becomes an explosion, and a new kind of martial arts superhero is born. Gymkata.”

addCredit(“Gymkata: Everett Collection”)

The trailer is the only special feature on the DVD, but the movieitself is more than enough to look forward to. The highlights: Thomastrains to invade Parmistan, a country led by the love child of MelBrooks and Geraldo Rivera, and climbs a staircase while doing ahandstand (and putting HD viewers on serious crotch shot alert). Thomaswoos the princess of Parmistan, who “oversees” his training, by doing aseries of fancy, twisting backflips, vaulting back and forth to speak both parts in an imaginary conversation between the two of them, guessing what she would say if she were given actual dialogue. Thomasfinally plays “the game,” a piss-poor obstacle course that has himbeing chased by men with bows and arrows, and on the third stage — the”village of the crazies” (pictured) — stumbles onto a pommel horse,where he unleashes a two-minute routine of ass-kicking while doing hisfamous Thomas flairs. (See a tease here.)

Now, if we can just get Mitch Gaylord‘s American Anthem on DVD…