December 20, 2006 at 12:00 PM EST

Uh, so where are the Transformers of my childhood? For one thing, there are too many damn people in this movie, from the looks of this trailer, and not enough robots. I mean, I’m sorry, I thought this was going to be about cars and things that turn into robots, not another IndependenceDayArmageddonWaroftheWorlds movie. (Although, what else would you expect from director Michael Bay?) Where are the autobots at?! I swear, they are only in the trailer for like five seconds; the rest of the time its Shia LaBeouf and another actor running away from things falling out of the sky. Still, if doomsday cinema that can rehash any unoriginal idea and make it something completely unrecognizable is your thing, if invading aliens bringing our natural world to the brink of destruction gets you going, and if car chase sequences that end in obliterating explosions help you find meaning in life, then by all means, jot down the Transformers release date of July 4, 2007 into your calendar.

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