Last week, I was having lunch at a little Asian fusion joint in Manhattan, and my roommate turned to me and said, “What’s up, Liz Lemon?” as he pulled a piece of tofu out of my hair. This got me to thinking, Am I a real-life version of Liz Lemon, Tina Fey’s messy, harried producer character on 30 Rock? As a service to you, dear readers, I’ve compiled a primer on the 10 ways to tell:
1. Duh! You walk around with food in your hair. Usually lettuce.
2. Your shoes are bi-curious.
3. Because of that, your boss gives you a wad of cash to buy clothes at a women’s store.
4. Your mentor’s prior claim to fame was developing the trivection oven.
5. You are what you eat. Hoagies.
6. You’ve almost died choking on a frozen meatloaf dinner.
7. Your employees reply to your queries with “Yes, sir.”
8. You’re dating a king. Not of a country, per se, but of beepers.
9. That same boyfriend likes Nickelback.
10. You realize the person your boss sets you up with is actually a woman, and you’re straight. But she’s so hot, you’d consider dating her anyway.
Got more to add to this list? Go for it.