Today we’d like to start a new feature here on PopWatch, in which Whitney — that’s me! — talks about some of the jobs she thinks she’d like to have in the entertainment industry, and why she’d like to have them, and then decides whether said job is a feasible option or a pipe dream. Think of it as a little public career counseling, and feel free to use the comment section to discuss jobs that you’d like to pursue! We can all take this journey of self-discovery together! It’ll be such fun! Won’t you join us?
JOB #1: PROFESSIONAL DROPPER OF THINGS
I’ve been a Dave Letterman fan for as long as I can remember (once even won a canned ham; if you ask nice, someday I’ll tell that story), but it wasn’t until I saw this clip (of Dave’s crew dropping a safe on a Buick, pictured) that I realized one of my life’s ambitions is NOT, as I’d originally thought, to be a late-night talk show host. No: I want to be one of the dudes in charge of thinking up, figuring out, and executing the dropping of things off the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater.
Ah, what a glorious life that would be! I’d roll into work around noon, check the show schedule, see if there was time to drop anything. If not — hey, day off! Crack open a beer! Enjoy the free celebrity festivities and complimentary musical guest! But if they did have a hankerin’ to drop a little something, well, then I’d snap into action! I would think of something to drop — 9000 sandwiches? Coke machine? Some of the tourists that stand in line outside Hairspray two hours before curtain time for no apparent reason? — and then I would get that something, and then I would do some quick physics in my head (will this kill anyone if it bounces?), and then… SHOWTIME! And then… SPLAT!!
Oh yes, PopWatchers: I believe that is a job I would like. But is it something I could do? Let’s see!
LIKE TO SLEEP LATE: Yes!
LIKE BEER: Yes!
GET ALONG WITH TEAMSTERS: Yes!
GOOD WITH ROUTINES/BOREDOM: Eh.
LIKE FREE CELEBRITIES/MUSIC: Yes!
ABLE TO SNAP INTO ACTION: Yes!
SLIGHTLY INSANE: Yes!
GOOD AT PHYSICS: I went to theater school.
LIKE DROPPING THINGS: Yes!
Based on my calculations, on a scale of 1 to 10 (with 1 being “PipeDream”, and 10 being “Goodbye, EW!”), I give this job a solid 6. Ithink mostly it’s the physics stuff holding me back.
And there you have it! Our first job, examined and explored! I hopeyou feel as enriched as I do… and you’ll stay tuned for more in thecoming weeks! Remember, PopWatchers: there’s nowhere you can go thatyou haven’t learned how to go in time. Whatever the hell that means.