This may or may not be news to you, but this morning, I discovered that new-age diva Enya literally has an “Online Castle,” complete with “Rogue’s Gallery,” “Watch Tower,” and even a “Trinket Room.” (Can anyone figure out how to interact with the snow globe in the last-named area? It confounds me!)
What I bet you didn’t know, though, is that the good folks at MapQuest have accurate directions to the actual, physical Castle Enya. Might I suggest clicking this link and listening to Enya’s ubiquitous “Orinoco Flow (Sail Away)” — not to be confused with her Prodigy mashup, “Smack My Enya“! — while we take the journey from PopWatch HQ to Enya’s lair?
1: Start out going SOUTHWEST on BROADWAY toward W 52ND ST. <0.1 miles
2: Turn RIGHT onto W 51ST ST., going all the way to the HUDSON RIVER 1.7 miles
3: Sail WESTWARD into THE ORINOCO FLOW. 71.3 miles
4: (Do NOT heed the call of the MERMAIDS. They’re lovely, but dangerous.)
5: Take the EXIT ∑ to the DEEP SEA OF CLOUDS. 0.6 miles
6: Merge onto ≈Ω≈ and head SOUTHWARD HO toward the ISLAND OF THE MOON. 271.6 miles
8: Bear RIGHT at the fork in the SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM. ≥π
9: Keep an eye out for signs pointing to MORDOR!
10: Go directly to THE LAND I’VE NEVER BEEN. Do not pass MOUNT DOOM. Do not collect $200.
11: Get out your FAIRY DUST. Sprinkle liberally about traveling vessel. Watch it transform into MAGICAL BUGGY!
12: SAIL AWAY, SAIL AWAY, SAIL AWAY.
12: BEANNACHT DE TEACH AìOCH BAINEANNACH AINNIR ENYA.