Michael Slezak
November 01, 2006 AT 12:00 PM EST

OK, Halloween was yesterday, but the horror films are still coming…

Hostel: Part II (Jan. 5, 2007) Look, I know a lot of folks liked the first one (EW’s own Owen Gleiberman gave it a B), but if the hotness of Jay Hernandez couldn’t make the concept of people getting chained up and tortured (I’m guessing that’s what happened?) seem appealing, I doubt Bijou Phillips and Heather Matarazzo are gonna lure me in this time around.

The Hills Have Eyes II (March 2, 2007) Replace friendly looking family with military trainees, add more blood, and you’ve got yourself the second part in a critically acclaimed film trilogy a near-certain No. 1 opening weekend. (Thanks to JoBlo for the heads up.)

The Hamiltons (TBD, 2006) Don’t ask me to explain why I won’t be going to see Hostel or Hills, but somehow find myself morbidly drawn to indie horror flick The Hamiltons. That’s really a better question for my therapist. Ellie, you want to take that on? No? You’re not on the clock right now? Oh. OK.

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