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Rant of the Day: '7 Days in a Sentra' ads

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Thanks to my best friend, DVR, I don’t watch too many ads these days. Except for the Mucinex phlegm dude — lurve him! But lately, every time I’m watching something in real time, I’m faced with the hideous new “7 Days in a Sentra” campaign from the sadistic people at Nissan. (Click here if you haven’t seen it.) Who the hell is this Marc Horowitz? Why would he spend seven days in his Sentra? Why would we want to see him spend seven days in his Sentra? And more importantly, why would seeing him spend seven days in his Sentra make me want to buy said brand of motor vehicle? I don’t like the way he carves a face into a piece of toast. I don’t like to think about his Sentra-based hygiene. I don’t like the way he dances. I don’t like his ass-face. I want this campaign to end and for Sentra’s marketing team to return to the kind of “zero percent financing,” “miles per gallon,” “limited warranty,” “independent suspension,” “front-wheel drive,” “generic images of car on a winding, tree-lined road” ad campaign I’ve come to expect. I’d even accept the cruel taunts of “zoom-zoom” (a tagline that always makes me shudder). Just no more Marc Horowitz. Even his friends think this is stupid. Now tell me you don’t like him and his “7 Days in a Sentra” campaign either.