1 Paul McCartney tries to trademark his name Meanwhile, ”Ringo Starr” was quietly put on Craigslist with some beat-up end tables and a ”vintage” Discman.
2 Mummified human remains put on eBay Well, we all knew Cocoon 3 would get a pretty low-key release.
3 Jennifer Aniston returns to Beverly Hills It’s quiet this time of year, with everyone out Third-World-baby shopping.
4 Angelina Jolie camp says she wasn’t in vehicle that struck Indian teenager For a while, they were spinning it as a ”high-speed adoption attempt.”
5 Nick Lachey says Newlyweds was ”among the dumber ideas…in history” A History of Dumb major, he ranks his show below the Bay of Pigs, but above the Pogo ball.
6 Cast of Dallas ditched, except for John Travolta as J.R. Who will be shot.
7 Hilary Duff seeks restraining order against obsessed 50-year-old man and his teenage roommate Duff claims the pair carry Batarangs and refer to her as ”Two-Face.”
8 Disney denies plotting to kill off Orlando Bloom in future Pirates installment ”Plotting? Hardly,” murmured the studio, stroking a white cat. ” He is already dead. ”
9 Diddy compares his music to his lovemaking Adding that he’s cut down on the rapping in both arenas.
10 Air America bankrupt Better luck to the next liberal radio network named after a Mel Gibson movie.