Roseanne is back — and so’s her last name! The 53-year-old comic returns to TV with a Nov. 4 stand-up special, Blonde and Bitchin’, on HBO (also on DVD Nov. 7) and a Nov. 2 guest spot on NBC’s My Name Is Earl. But the star of the long-running Roseanne will leave it at that: ”I’m never going to be able to do anything like Roseanne again and I’m not gonna try,” she explains. ”I enjoy stand-up. You can say what you really want to say, and say what you really mean.” Here’s another opportunity to say what you want, Roseanne: EW’s Personality Test!
Name: ROSEANNE BARR
1. The first famous person I befriended:
Rodney Dangerfield at the Comedy Store. He wanted me to play his wife, so I did. I got a career out of it.
2. If I had to gain 30 pounds for a role, I would eat…
What I normally eat.
3. My American Idol audition song would be…
”The Star-Spangled Banner”
4. The last thing I bought on eBay:
I bought my own lifesize wax figure from the [Movieland] Wax Museum. I paid $1,500. I was the highest bidder, obviously. The bidding started at $1,200.
5. The thing I’ve wanted to buy but am just too embarrassed:
A Bentley, though it’s like asking to get a bullet in your head.
6. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
I have five tattoos. Two of them are a secret, the rest are of a phoenix dragon and some flowers.
7. Choose one:
8. If you could have been in any band, past or present…
Big Brother and the Holding Company. When I was a kid, Janis Joplin was my idol.
9. Pick a Jessica:
(A) Jessica Alba
(B) Jessica Biel
(C) Jessica Simpson
(D) Jessica Tandy
10. If you’re a fan of this, don’t talk to me:
11. The person I’m most often mistaken for:
People always say Rosie O’Conner. That’s part me, part Roseanne Conner from my TV show, and part Rosie O’Donnell. They’re mixing me up with three people! They’re the ones who voted for Bush.
12. After a long day, I like to kick back with:
(B) Cold Beer
(C) Pinot Noir
(D) Chamomile Tea
All of the above, except forget the tea.
13. If my life were a drinking game, everyone would do a shot when…
I got divorced.
14. My porn name is:
Mitzi + Lincoln = Mitzi Lincoln