This morning, Scott Brown posted his live reactions to Mel Gibson’s much-anticipated Diane Sawyer interview, the first part of which aired on Thursday’s Good Morning America. (Part II airs tomorrow.) We were finally able to restore Scott’s post to today’s PopWatch after it was deleted due to technical difficulties — though we still might be able to pin this glitch on the Jews.
7:00 The Cory Lidle plane crash bumps the Big Mel-fession Session to the second half hour — are the Jews to blame? We’ll have the authoritative opinion on that in less than half an hour. We get only this tease of Mel Gibson: ”Some people need a big tap on the shoulder. In my case, humiliation on a global scale seems to be what was required.” Sounds promising…
7:05 New tape of the plane tragedy! The guy who made it says, ”My first impulse wasn’t to call 911, it was to pick up a camera.”
7:14 Weathermannequin Sam Champion is in Chicago! Guess what? It’s cold! But what’s the weather in Mel’s heart? Is there, as Diane will soon ask, HATE in his heart? I MUST KNOW IF THERE’S HATE IN HIS HEART.
7:17 ”My bikini, my long underwear!” Diane Sawyer is crazy.
7:18 The walkup begins to walk up. Shaky cam! Stock footage! Tab photos! Split screens of multi-anti-Semitism! Whom should I believe? (Rob Schneider. That’s whom. How happy is he that he made the walkup?) Should we believe Mel or his (Jewish) detractors, all shown in scary extreme close-up? ”We don’t know what happened on the news reports that night,” says Diane. ”But we will.”
7:20 My girlfriend notes that the ”Itsy Bitsy Spider-Man” toy, displayed in a commercial, emasculates a great hero. Foreshadowing?
7:30 Diane gives us Mel’s side. As of today he’s 2.5 months sober. Hooray!
7:31 ”I guess I must’ve been a little overwrought.” Know how many drinks you had? ”No I don’t. But I know it was tequila… You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.” Ah, but it wasn’t toothpaste at all! It’s ”from Oaxaca!”
7:33 Are those words you said anti-Semitic? Diane asks. ”Oh yeah,” says Mel. And if the police officer were black, would Mel have flung a different epithet? ”I dunno. I’d have to get loaded again.” Chug chug chug!
7:34 Mel claims he can ”murder inanimate objects.” He calls himself a ”work in progress.” Does that mean he will soon murder animate objects?
7:35 The first thing on his mind, Mel says, was not to take a bad mugshot. That was the first thing on his mind. But it was not to be the last!
7:36 Mel reveals his ”hair of the dog” treatment for anti-Semitism: a coupla cold ones the next morning. Sure beats groveling. ”I’ve apologized more than anyone I know, it’s getting old.”
7:37 ”How many times can you ask her?” Diane asks Mel of his pleas for forgiveness from his wife. But it sounds like ”How many times can you Oscar?” I think we know the answer to that question.
7:38 Mel calls this event a kind of ”blessing.” Diane has an appropriately skeptical look on file for the reaction shot.
7:39 ”Well, that’s the old Roman saying, in vino veritas,” says Mel. ”They don’t know what they’re talking about.” Stupid Romans. They didn’t know how tequila can induce anti-Semitism.
7:40 What a tease! More Mel… tomorrow! I can’t wait that long for the truth!
7:41 I get roaring drunk.
7:42 I’m kind of starting to hate Albanians.